it's jokes

Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"

She pulls out a knife and fork.

What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?

They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.

Uh!!!

Why do orphans love playing tennis?

Because it’s the only love they get.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?

Why did the chicken cro-

UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓

I wrote a song about a tortilla.

Actually, it’s more of a wrap.

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.

It was one-sided.

What music scares balloons?

Pop music.

Why would the banana scream "ouch?"

Because it is getting peeled.

It is now legal to bully an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.

I did a walk today, but I had a walk home from a walk. Walk today, but it when.

I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.

What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?

"It's dye-ing."

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"

How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!

What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!

Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?

Because it was in da skies.

I have a joke about death.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Think about it :)