it's jokes

Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"

Because it doesn't matter your age.

Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved.

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.

Why did the banana like the movie?

Because it was apeeling.

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.

The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Pizza.

Pizza who?

Never mind, it was so cheesy.

What music scares balloons?

Pop music.

Why would the banana scream "ouch?"

Because it is getting peeled.

I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.

What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?

"It's dye-ing."

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"

How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!

How do you confuse a fish?

Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!

I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.