Intimacy jokes

Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!

(I am still a single young virgin.)

My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

I think I need to kiss your butt.

My girlfriend's name is Candice.

Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.

How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.

If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!

Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.

What's the best thing about a blowjob?

- The silence.

I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.

What's two lesbians in a tent?

A finger hut.

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.

Kylin likes to eat Violet's ass.

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

Best way to kiss someone is to lick inside their mouth with your tongue a lot of times, and they will really like it, especially me!! - lizard kiss+ french kiss= SloBbY Kiss.

Thanks for learning and getting advice.

Also, don't be such a horny one!

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.