Intimacy jokes

My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..

Just put the diaper on her 😉

"Mmmmmmmm, daddy, f*ck me harder. I love you, daddy, mmmm. I luv your cock, mmmm, lick me, lick my clit, daddy!"

You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.

Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.

Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!

When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"

You were amazing... Sike I lied, that pussy is dry.

One day Jack and Jill went up a hill. Jack got Jill drunk and horny, then took her to a hotel because Jack wanted to suck and lick her candy stick.

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.

Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?

Because it got pissed off!

Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"

Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.

When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."

Roses are red, I have a confession:

A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.

Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.

How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.

What did the naked man say to the naked woman?

"Suck my dick."