"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?
My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
