It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
pov them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed.
her. all you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang you get me
just cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I cant have sex
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Why hand holding is a couple thing? Because they touch each others genitals anyway.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
