Intimacy jokes

Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"

(dude wtf)

My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."

When I masturbate, things cum.

When an old man does, no one cums.

Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."

My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

She'd suck my dick and let me suck her tits.

Roses are red, Foxes are orange, I like your butt, Let me touch it forever.

I just had sex.

Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.

I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.

Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.

Her: Eat my ass!

Me: Yes, chef!

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

Meeting a girl at a park is good, but parking meat in girl is better.

Who ever said "condom?" YES DADDY!

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

Ty choked on DT’s willy.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

My I.

May I who?

May I put this pussy on your mouth?

I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.