Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
I think I need to kiss your butt.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
Kaden wants to have sex with you.
I told my wife she was lousy in bed.
She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"
What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?
Putting the nappy on afterwards.
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
What does a lesbian call the other during sex?
Mummy.
Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!
So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.
Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.
PENIS PENIS
Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
You blow a kiss up.
Your eyes were bright up your ass.
