INS jokes
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion!! 🦁
In a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo...
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.