INS jokes
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
What is the difference between a human being in the car?
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.
I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.