INS jokes
Hey girl, are you a wizard? Because you cast lit in my Final Fantasy!
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."
I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"
What has four legs and an arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.
The librarian then asked me to take it out.
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.