INS jokes
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?
Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.
Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”
Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”
What is a priest's favorite song?
-- Magic Flute in A minor.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
What’s worse than Sally in one trash can?
Sally in 13 trash cans.
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇