INS jokes
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.
Did y'all know our future president is probably saying "Six Seven" and other brainrot right now?
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
Wanna hear a joke? Just look in the mirror, the joke's there!
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud. Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles. Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
I wanna see this pic of me in a bra! Where do I find it?
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.