INS jokes
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can’t see their parents.
Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.
No wonder why I can't find you. You're in the trash bin.
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!
Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.
A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.