INS jokes
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.
Momma's House-By-watersharky Productions and Dustin Lynch- I see your face on every street, every corner, couple trees. Even got her name on 'em. I feel your love, I hear your laugh, got them take me way on back. Hurt me memories, I don't want 'em. Up and down the boulevard. In and out of every bar. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. I would start it where we started, at the downtown party Where you kissed my lips and stole my beer. The city park in the dark where we looked up at the stars Watched them fireworks pop last year. It started under that Texaco sign where you said goodbye I'd get some gas and drop a match right there. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Fire red flames, sunsets in the sky Going out, staying in, staying up long nights. Now I'm waking up alone, wishing I could move on Blocked your number in my phone, thought it help but it don't. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house.
There hasn’t been 3 months of peace in this country since 2019. Jesus, take the wheel.
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.
John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"
What a world we live in. Now we’re making jokes about anorexic people.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
I got in an argument with the 90-degree angle. And guess what? It was right!
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."