INS jokes
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
What's the most played game in Africa? The Hunger Games.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.
me when i do not get the math in class
What do you call a kid in a hot tub?
Vegetable soup.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."
What's white and comes in little cans?
Michael Jackson.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked. "I'm a Paralympian," he replied. "Boxing?" "No, ... hurdles."
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
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Why is it always cold in the hospital?
To keep the vegetables fresh.