INS jokes
Having sex in an elevator is wrong. On so many levels.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
Why do orphans start fights?
Because they don't get in trouble at home.
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
How did the rich save the poor?
They didn't let them in the Titanic.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.
The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."
The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."
Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?
Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?
What in the Robot!?
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."