INS jokes
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
What is a Mexican's favorite move in a video game?
Wall jumping.
What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?
A full house.
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Me in group photo:
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
You live in the airport.
Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"