INS jokes
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?
Have a look at her face!
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
Why didn’t the toilet cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack!
What is the biggest candy in the world?
Candy Borobudur.
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
Believe in unicorns, and they'll believe in you!
Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?