INS jokes
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.
Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.
I once got in trouble in the library for putting the women's right book in the fantasy section.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(