INS jokes

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”

Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.

Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW

Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.

Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?

Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."

Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Her: Awww... Yes!!!

Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.

Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?

A: Rainbow Six Siege.

What does the "f" stand for in orphan?

Family.

I once got in trouble in the library for putting the women's right book in the fantasy section.

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?

I don't know, I can never see them.

Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?

If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."

James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."

Where do fish keep their money?

In a riverbank!

What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?

Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...