Im jokes
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
HOLD UP
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
The F in "I'm orphan" stands for family.
But there is no F.
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.
Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"
The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
Wanna hear a joke?
No, I'm already looking at one.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!