Im jokes

Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

Son: Okay, I'll do it!

5 hours later...

Son: I'm done!

Dad: I lied.

Son: So did I!

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."

My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.

SELF HARM

People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.

Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?

Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?

¡Hola, soy Dora!

Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!

What is a disabled person's least favorite song?

"I'm Still Standing."

Wanna hear a joke?

No, I'm already looking at one.

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."

Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"

The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"

I'm looking for the bartender.

Person named Bart:

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

Who is the world's fastest reader?

The Twin Towers, they blew through 86 stories in 5 seconds.

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.