Im jokes

Yeah, I’m LGBTQ.

LETS GO BULLY THE QUEERS!

Why did my boyfriend leave me?

Because he's gay.

But why did he come back to me?

Because I'm actually a guy :-)

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.

It's my New Year's resolution.

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?

Doctor: To the morgue.

Man: But I’m not dead yet.

Doctor: Are we there yet?

I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.

What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?

"I'm not a-moosed right now."

Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

Oh wait...

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."

The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"

The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."

I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.

I didn't ask: ❌

I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️

I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.

I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.