Im jokes

The F in "I'm orphan" stands for family.

But there is no F.

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.

I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.

And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?

I'm not saying you're stupid.

But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"

I'm stumped.

GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!

Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”

Them: What's on your arm?

Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

I'm as straight as a rainbow.

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."

She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”

The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”

Mom: “Exactly.”

Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.