If jokes

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?

If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.

Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.

If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"

What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?

It’s a bumper team.

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.

If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.

Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.

If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, does that mean your pants are tucked into your shirt?

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?

It becomes a chestnut.

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*