If jokes

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

If there was a zombie apocalypse, girls would make a "forehead apocalypse" since it is so big.

Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.

I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...

If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.

If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

Do they say you are what you eat?

That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.

If you're looking at this, then look behind you!

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

Say my name if you like "Breaking Bad."

Why is 19 afraid?

Because if you add 400 to it, it’ll be next to 420.

If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?