If jokes
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.
Your hairline couldn't be seen even if it was glowing.
Imagine if Batman had a family reunion!
If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?