If jokes

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"

Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

Nobody stands up.

After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

Little Johnny stands up.

"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?

It becomes a chestnut.

Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?

Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?

If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...

What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?

It’s a bumper team.

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.

I hope you see this plugin, but if you're listening to this, I really want to give you a little more...

Yo, if you don't stop bugging Watersharky, we'll all go down!

If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’

If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.

If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.