If jokes

Imagine if Batman had a family reunion!

If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.

Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?

If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).

What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?

Travis Spick-le.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

I had something about tripping over ice.

Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.