If jokes

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.

If there was a zombie apocalypse, girls would make a "forehead apocalypse" since it is so big.

If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?

It becomes a chestnut.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

Nobody stands up.

After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

Little Johnny stands up.

"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?

"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."

If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).

Yo, if you don't stop bugging Watersharky, we'll all go down!

What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?

If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.

If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’