Hygiene jokes
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.
But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
Poopies in my undies.
The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
Your butt is so fat, I can remove 90% of beauty with a tissue.