Hygiene jokes
What's white and sticky?
Toothpaste.
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
Why do balls be hairy? Cause they stinky!
How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!
Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
Little Johnny is a trucker. He stops at a bar. Johnny sees a sign that says, "Hamburgers for two dollars, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars." He walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?" She replies, "Yes, that's me." Johnny says, "Well, can you wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger?"