Humor
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
I'm an orphan, lol.
My sister's name is Coco, and one day she was funny, so I told her, "You coconut."
I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
My favorite joke is my life.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
I have a nun joke! It is nun-ya business!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
bradley
Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.