Humor

If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!

What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?

He killed everyone on this f#cking website.

What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?

The wheelchair.

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."

Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.

She responded with a list:

- Take out the trash.

- Clean your room.

- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.

That’s all sweetie!

So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.

He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.

Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"

The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."

The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.

So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.

The more downvotes it has, the better the joke.

Have you ever heard of Jane Doe? Well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!

I love having fun.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.

But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

What do you call a skeleton's erection?

A boner.

I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.

You're really...

I'm hertophobic.

It means I'm allergic to straights.

What's the difference between your dad and cancer?

Cancer came back...

My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.

We never met again.

Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?

If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.

Stranger: Knock knock.

Person: Who's there?

Stranger: Sugma.

Person: Sugma who?

Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!