Humor

Humor

Dog

    • So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

    About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."

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    • Cannibal

    • Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.

    So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."

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    • Humor memes

    Poem

    • I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.

    Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!

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    • Driver

    • Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

    Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.

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    • Ketchup

    • Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!

    UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!

    Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!

    Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."

    Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

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    • Priest

    • Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?

    A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.

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