Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

I was riding my bike down the road!

When a car started coming, I started running.

It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)

A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"

A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?

Yu.