Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he gets a hole in one!
Humor
This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.
Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.
Professor Poopypants!!!
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma bum crack!
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
