Humor

I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.

It didn't land well.

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.

What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.

How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.

I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?

You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

You: Uhhhhhhh

Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

You: Thank God.

Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

You: *faints*

What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he gets a hole in one!

This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.

Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.

Professor Poopypants!!!

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!

Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.

I was riding my bike down the road!

When a car started coming, I started running.

It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)

You cat to be kitten me right meow!

A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?

"What's up?"

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ligma.

Ligma who?

Ligma bum crack!

Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.