Humor
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
What do you call a skeleton's erection?
A boner.
You're really...
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
Always that kid :
What's the difference between your dad and cancer?
Cancer came back...
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.
God made Adam and Eve.
Satan made Adam and Steve.
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
My life, lmao.
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.