Humor
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abajo.
Abajo who?
I have abajo of water with me.
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Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.
God made Adam and Eve.
Satan made Adam and Steve.
Always that kid :
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
My life, lmao.
Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.
Puns, that's how I roll.
Deez nuts!
GOT EEMMMMMMMM!