Humor
Why was the Milky Way remembered...
Because it's... DELICIOUS!
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
I am funny.
Face reveal <3
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.