Humor
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some fresh beets!
Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.
Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.
They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
What did the other traffic cone say to the other?
"Look away, I'm changing!"
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.