Humor
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
You wanna hear a joke? You.
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
Guys, am I funny?
C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.