Parking Ticket

Parking Ticket jokes

Guy

  • These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"

    The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"

  • 0
  • Welcome

  • Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.

    Police Officer

  • A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

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  • Space

  • I parked in a disabled space today...

    ...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”

  • 1
  • Car

  • Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

    All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

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  • Irony

  • I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!

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  • Community talk

  • You a parking ticket cuz' you got fine written all over you ;) (i just wanted to say that, hi)