Humor
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What did the man say to his wife? "Make me a damn sandwich, woman!"
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.