Humor

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.

Why were the mushrooms the cool guy at the party? Because he was a fungi.

Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.

Why don't paralyzed people laugh?

They hate stand-up comedy.

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?

Floor 44.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"

Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.

Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.

My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"

Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.

So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]

I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

What color is Stephen Hawking's house?

It's a bungalow.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.

The joke is you! 😂🤣😂🤣😂

On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.

Dark humor is like water. It exists.