Humor

What did one ballsack say to another?

"You stay here, I'll go pee."

"Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas!"

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?

Floor 44.

What do you call a rapper who LOVES fishing?

MC Bass-Drop.

What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?

"No, you ate my cock!"

Stop with the 9/11 jokes.

They're not gonna fly.

If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Why did the alien go to the rap battle?

Because he had some UNEARTHLY rhymes!

It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

Wanna hear a joke?

My life.

How do Asian people name their children?

They throw a pan down the stairs.

What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.

Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.

Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.

What's your mom on?

Deez nuts!

I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.