Humor
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
Guys watch out
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.
Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
What's the best thing about abortion jokes? They never get old.
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.