Humor

*fart* 👀 Oops!

What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.

He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"

Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!

Bob Weir: Where are you going?

Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈

If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.

Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

Your momma's so dumb, she took her driving lesson on a dinosaur.

Roses are red.

I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!

Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.

Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.

What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"

I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."

You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.

Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"

Why are nuts on boys?

What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?

A meringue-atang.

Why are there gates on a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get inside. Lol

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.