Humor

I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.

I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣

"It never gets old."

"Just like a sick kid!"

What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?

Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.

A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"

The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."

By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!

I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.

I was going to think of a good amputee joke...

But I’m stumped.

Said the man angered to his wife:

"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?

A: He thought they tasted funny.

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)

Au revoir, GGG

How ISS greets their friend.

"You the BOMB!"

Monkey: What ya doing?

Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣

Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?

Because it has at least one hundred degrees.

Like this joke. Ur mom.

How do you tell when your wife is dead?

The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.