Humor
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
What's the useless skin around the vagina? A woman.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
Stop! Stop the orphan jokers!
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."