Humor

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

Heard the Helen Keller single?

It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!

I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.

I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."

Yo mama so fat, when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete laughed up.

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Teacher: No?

Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."

Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?

A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"

How do you get a Japanese fanclub?

Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL

Big black ball sacks.

Why can’t orphans have sex?

They have no one to call “daddy.”

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?