Knife

  • So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

    Her boyfriend said "Hi."

    I said, "Knife to meet you!"

    Midget

  • I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

    He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"

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  • Convention

  • What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...

    We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...

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  • Martinus

  • A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."

    Barbie

  • Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?

    A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"

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  • Couple

  • A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

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  • Poop

  • What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!

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  • Bee

  • These are bee puns.🐝

    I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

    I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

    (Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

    Student

  • Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

    Teacher: No?

    Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."