You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
Humor
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
