Humor

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.

I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)

A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"

Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"

I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!

Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂

What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.

What do you call California during a forest fire?

Completely normal.

Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?

Devil: Hey angel.

Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?

Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?

Angel: What?

Devil: Angelpinos!

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.

Why can’t an orphan make a joke?

Dad jokes.

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

Q: What do you call a gang of emos?

A: Suicide Squad.