Humor
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
Memes
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.