Humor
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
Q: What do you call a gang of emos?
A: Suicide Squad.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!