Humor

I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.

I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.

Hello people. I've seen your jokes are as immature as hell. Keep going with those jokes, people. We might earn the funniest jokes on this website.

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?

A: A rocket chip.

There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.

Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.

"Knock knock."

"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"

What did one butt cheek say to the other?

"Together we can stop this shit."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Mama.

Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.

For every blonde in the world,

scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."

They will likely reply: "What's updog?"

To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"

What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."

Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.

Why are dogs born with balls?

They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.

I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.

Why can’t an orphan make a joke?

Dad jokes.

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?

The tree leaves them hanging.

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."