Humor
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Q: What is 9 + 11?
A: 9/11
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.