What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Humor
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
For every blonde in the world,
scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
