Humor
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"
My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.
No more toilet paper jokes, please.
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."