Humor
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
Imagine a dragon 🤔.
Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!