Humor
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
Memes
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.
First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"
Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"
And throws the White man off of the building.
Yo mama so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
The world is a freaking rape joke.