Humor
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
Memes
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.
Yo mama so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
The world is a freaking rape joke.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
I wish my grass was edgy...
then it would cut itself...
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...