Humor
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Yo mama so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
The world is a freaking rape joke.
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!