Humor
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
Yo mama so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.