Humor
What do you call a Muslim in a swimming pool? A bath bomb.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
Memes
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.
First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"
Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"
And throws the White man off of the building.
Yo mama so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
The world is a freaking rape joke.