
Humor
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
This is so relatable tho.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
