Spectrum

  • What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.

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    Mexican

  • A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"

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  • Santa

  • It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

    He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

    But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

    Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

    Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

    (Santa winks at you)

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    Character

  • Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:

    Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)

    East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)

    Jew...Rey (Ray)

    Black...BB-8 (BBC)

    Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)

    German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)

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    Mom

  • What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?

    Your mom finishes.

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