Humor
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
You are all going to be pun-ished!
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
— No.
— That's the spirit!
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because he looked like me.
Sans: Sure.
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
What a skeleton baked for the other skeleton.
A pa_pıe_rus.
I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.