Humor
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."