Humor

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.

Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.

Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."

A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.

Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.

What did the traffic light say to the truck?

"Don't look, I'm about to change!"

Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!

Me: hee hee egypt.

Papyrus: Well come to the underground.

Sans: How was your falls?

Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.

Sans: Give me your balls!

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

What's the hardest thing to do?

Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")

What's stiff and 6 inches long?

SIDS.

I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.

Wanna hear a poop joke?

Nah, they always stink.

You are all going to be pun-ished!

Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?

A: They drive slow through school zones.

What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?

I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.

What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?

The letter b.

Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Papyrus: Because he looked like me.

Sans: Sure.

I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.