Humor
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Wow, why so many of the same joke?
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.