Humor

Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.

When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"

Why did Sally cross the road?

She didn’t wear her seatbelt.

What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?

A seizure salad.

What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?

Seasoned vegetables.

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?

Cremation.

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?

Because he comes in a little behind.

Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"

Opposite day be like in doors.

Figure: Finally, I can see.

Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.

Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.

Eyes: 😭

What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.

Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.

Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.