Humor
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
Would an orphan's family photo be considered a selfie?
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. πππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
Memes
Explain Bear i hate you
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he canβt do stand up.
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
What a skeleton baked for the other skeleton.
A pa_pΔ±e_rus.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
Why didnβt the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"