Humor

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.

She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺

When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.

How to fall down stairs.

Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.

If water makes you laugh, then jokes make you pee.

What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?

Nothing, he had no friends.

Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!

I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.

Nobody got it.

When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.

Dad, sad, bad, rad, nad, tad, glad, clad, plaid, had.

If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?

Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.